More laundry
Dishes
Sweep (kitchen)
Sweep (bathroom)
Sweep (living room)
Mop (kitchen)
Mop (bathroom)
Kitty litter
Counter & mirror in bathroom
Vacuum (emma’s room)
Vacuum (our room)
Call Roy IRT: how freaking hot it is in our room.
Feed cats
Feed Tessa
Check on Tessa’s water
Math homework
Clean out fridge
Cook the damned chicken
Everything else you’ve been putting off and/or forgot about (lazy cow!)
090. i miss my friend. 25 October 2009
J came home after work and sensed that something was wrong. He called for our cat Sam. He meowed at Jason, but it was so weak and raspy that it just didn’t seem like our Sam. He seemed like he was stumbling a little bit, and J brought him into our room and had Sam lay down on his chest. He called me at my mom’s to ask if I’d noticed anything strange that morning (I hadn’t, but I was in such a rush that I didn’t really notice the cats at all), and then told me that he was going to find an emergency vet.
I came home immediately, and laid down next to Sam & J. I took one look at Sam, and I knew something was up. I grabbed my laptop, found an all night emergency vet, and we left. Sam cried a little at being put in the kennel, but nowhere near his usual “Get me out of the cage!” cries… Something was definitely wrong with our baby.
We got to the vet, and it was relatively deserted (which was good for us). We filled out paperwork and I pet him through the cage. He actually let me rub his paw without being upset with me, and I touched his face – which he never let us do. Rather than growl at me or back away from me, he rubbed his face against me. This was so unlike Sam that I almost cried. I took a picture with my phone and uploaded it to Facebook (and maybe Twitter, too), because I was trying to keep everyone updated. I don’t know why I thought everyone cared, but it kept me sane. I wish I would’ve taken more pictures when we took him out of the cage.
J took him out of the cage and he walked around the floor, but he couldn’t walk straight. He looked like he was too tired and just gave up when he laid down on the ground. We picked him up and held him until we were sent back to the exam room. He seemed a little feisty when we put him on the table to be weighed and looked over. He meowed his sad sick kitty meow and tried to jump from the table to the sink (I caught him because he wouldn’t have made it). The nurse took his temp and said that it was 90… which is a full 10 degrees less than what it should be.
Being the curious nursing student that I am, I Googled why cats would experience hypothermia, and found a few reasons. Primarily: that he was in shock, suffering from heart disease and/or failure, his kidneys were shutting down, or that he’d ingested poison. He didn’t have reason to be in shock unless his organs were in failure, he wasn’t showing symptoms of either heart or kidney problems, and we have all our poisons (household cleaners and the like) put away so that Monkey doesn’t get into them. We consented to allowing him to be put on a heating pad in the back and waited on the vet to come in and talk to us.
When she came in, she gave us the same information I’d just found online. I was explaining to Jason why it’s so dangerous for his temperature to be as low as it was, and the vet asked me what I did for a living. I told her I was a nursing student, and she nodded. At the time, I wasn’t irritated by the question, but now that I think about it, I kind of am. Did she think I didn’t know what I was talking about? Because clearly, I did. Sorry, I got sidetracked.
She suggested doing x-rays and blood work (and doing it quickly – she said she was afraid that he would die before they could diagnose what was happening), and that each would take about 20 minutes to come back. We sat in the exam room, Jason a silent statue and me updating Facebook or Googling what we could do for Sam.
The vet came back 10 minutes later and put his x-rays on the wall. After months of staring at the insides of cats in my Anatomy Class, the first thing I noticed was that his heart was 3 times the size it should be. The vet told us that he had severe heart disease, and that there wasn’t much that could be done. Heart disease isn’t curable, and the best that we could do was give him meds to prolong his life. We made the decision to put him to sleep, so that he wasn’t suffering any more.
They gave us a few minutes with him, and we both held him for a while. As he was laying on the table, too tired to even lift his head, I felt his breathing get more and more labored. His heart was beating slowly and unevenly. I’m pretty sure that even if we hadn’t made the decision to put him down, he would’ve passed away that night. The vet gave him a strong anasthetic to make him sleep and then gave him a barbituate to stop his heart and his lungs. He died in our arms, and peacefully.
J and I cried for a long time, and didn’t sleep well that night at all. It feels weird not to have him yelling at me to feed him or cuddling with me on the couch when I’m watching TV. We haven’t told Monkey yet – mostly because we’re not sure how. She’s only 4, and probably doesn’t understand the concept of death. She still asks for Christian sometimes, even though we’ve explained that he’s gone home to be with God. For now, we’re waiting for her to ask where Sam is. I think I heard her say his name earlier, but I can’t be sure… a part of me is wondering if maybe I’m wanting her to ask for him so I can get it over with and tell her that he’s gone.
I don’t get attached to animals. I’ve had so many that I can’t remember them all. I stopped getting attached when I was about 7 and my cat was hit by a car. It sounds cold, but I couldn’t see the point in continuing to get close to an animal that was guaranteed to die well before I did? But Sam… he was such a cool cat. He could fetch! Seriously. You threw a stick, and he’d go get it and bring it back to you. He knew not to go in the bedroom unless he was given permission. He loved to sleep with you on the couch, and he tolerated my idiot kitten Stinky when our other cat Ditto won’t. He didn’t scratch up my new leather couch or my boyfriend’s amps or guitars. Sam was a cool cat. And I feel like a failure because there wasn’t a thing I could do for him and I didn’t know until it was too late.
I miss my kitty cat.
089: Thursday thirteen: My comfort movies 22 October 2009
Since I’m still in somewhat of a crabby/depressed mood, all I really want to do right now is watch my favorite movies in the comfort of my own bed, wearing my favorite PJs and surrounded by chocolate. These aren’t all typically “comfort” movies, but since they’re my favorite, they always make me feel better when I watch them.
3. Ever After
4. The Crow
5. A Man Apart
6. August Rush
7. Enchanted
8. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
11. The Covenant
12. Sky High
13. Undiscovered
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088. Lately I’ve been thinking – Maybe you’re not ready for me. 21 October 2009
It’s getting closer to Halloween, which normally makes me happy. I love dressing up and going Trick or Treating. I love watching Monkey’s eyes light up when I tell her she can pick out her costume (because she so dearly loves to dress up). I actually like decorating the house with orange and black and figuring out what candy to get this year. Even getting married on Halloween hasn’t really dampened the day for me much (because we all know how spectacularly that went), because it’s a fun holiday. Honestly, it’s really the only holiday that I care for these days.
I’ve never been a big fan of Thanksgiving. I’m grateful for what I have all year round. Shouldn’t everyone else be thankful all year round too? And Christmas…. well, I haven’t really liked that holiday much since I was 6. My grandmother (the one I lived with while my brother was in the hospital undergoing treatment for cancer) died in August that year, but it didn’t really hit me until Christmas. I remember getting a stuffed koala that Christmas, and I immediately clung to it. My 6 year old brain somehow connected that bear to my grandmother — I even went so far as to name the damned thing “Grandma” and still have no idea how or why.
I see the decorations going up. I hear the jolly music. And yet I can’t bring myself to be excited about it. At all. Monkey’s getting older, and she’s starting to understand the concept of Santa. That means I have to at least fake being excited about Christmas… and because it’s for my little girl, I will.
I think a large part of how crabby I’m being over this whole holiday season thing is because I’m doing the Girl Thing and that always makes me super emotional. Right now, my idea of heaven is my bed, in my PJs with chocolate & ice cream, watching chick flicks and being left the entire hell alone.
087. Thursday thirteen: things I am afraid of. 15 October 2009
1. Death (not my own). I fear, more than anything else in this world, my family’s death. Especially my daughter’s and my mother’s. I don’t know that I could survive either.
2. Cockroaches. I don’t know why, but they terrify me. Well, maybe not so much terrify as disgust. I see one and I get the heebie-jeebies.
3. Clowns. I blame reading It when I was in 4th grade. Then watching it not long after. Stupid move, on my part. I was an advanced reader (I was reading Shakespeare by the time I was 12), but I was still very much a child. And the image of that scary clown-monster will never leave my mind.
4. Enclosed spaces. I’m pretty badly claustrophobic (which was really difficult to deal with on a ship), and I have a tendency to hyperventilate and/or have a full-blown panic attack if the room I’m in is too small. Wearing clothes that are too tight is out of the question, and the thought of a straightjacket (where you can’t move your arms) makes me a little sick to my stomach.
5. Crowded places. I can’t go to the grocery store at rush hour or to the mall (ever). I have slight agoraphobia, but it’s managable enough that I can leave the house – just not be surrounded by a lot of people.
6. Change. Yes, I fear change. I know that sometimes it can be a good thing, but honestly I’m happier when I’m in a routine (OCD) and in my comfort-zone.
7. Heights. Standing inside a tall building and looking down through a window makes my stomach hurt. Looking down from an airplane window makes me dizzy and nauseous. Poor J will never get me to go skydiving with him.
8. Pain. I don’t mean emotional pain (though that sucks in it’s own right). I mean physical pain. The kind where bones break and you bleed. I’ve never been in a situation like that (knock on wood!!) and I hope I never will be (btw: childbirth was easy for me – epidurals are your friend).
9. Growing old. I don’t necessarily fear being old so much as I fear being frail with age. I don’t want to be completely dependent on someone else.
10. Being a failure. I want to succeed in life. I want to be a great mom. I want to be an awesome wife. I want to be the best nurse. I’m learning as I go on the mom thing (but think I’m doing an ok job). I’m not a wife yet (but hope to be one day). I’m still in school for the nursing part and pray each day that I’ll do well enough in school to be able to get that chance to be the best nurse I can be.
11. Disappointing my family. I can’t say that I’ve been the best at everything I’ve done in my life. I’ve disappointed my family before, but never to the point where they haven’t forgiven me. I never want to get to that point.
12. Going blind. I’ve said a few times that if I were to lose a sense, please God don’t let it be my sight. I love to read. LOVE it. I can’t go through a week without picking one up.
13. Going deaf. Yeah, I don’t want to go blind, but I don’t want to go deaf either. I love music as much as I love books (I routinely read a book while listening to music), and I’d be lost without both.

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084. Thursday 13, week two: songs that put me in a good mood 8 October 2009
I missed last Thursday’s “Thursday 13″ because I was stuck in bed with a severe upper respiratory infection and laryngitis. When I get sick, I get sick. So fun.
I’m in a bit of a bad mood today, so I decided that I should at least make an attempt at being hapy-go-lucky again. Or pretend to be. Either way… I love music. LOVE it. I have a playlist for every single mood (happy, sad, horny, pissed off, working out, uplifted, etc). I’m usually found with my headphones on and either singing or dancing in my chair.
I grew up in a very musical family, so it sort of makes sense. Add that to the fact that I’m a some-time singer, and… well, you get the point. The following is a list of 13 songs that are guaranteed to make me at least smile & tap my foot, if not outright get up, dance, sing along, and be happy again (all taken from my WOOHOO! playlist).
1. “It’s a great day to be alive” by Travis Tritt – There is no greater way to start the day than to wake up thinking “God, it’s a great day to be alive!” No matter what shit you’re going through at the time, you’re alive! And hey – that’s actually a good thing!! This song is actually set as my alarm clock (which my boyfriend hates, but probably because I wake up an entire hour earlier than he does). FABULOUS way to wake up!!
“It’s a great day to be alive! I know the sun’s still shining when I close my eyes. There’s hard times in the neighborhood, but why can’t every day be just this good?”
2. “Oh, what a beautiful morning” by Rogers & Hammerstein (Oklahoma) – Cheesy, I know. But I love musicals. LOVE them. And this song really sticks with me as I’m driving into work and I get to see that beautiful sunrise over the Houston skyline. It is a beautiful morning! And when I walk in, singing the song with a smile on my face, it exposes the other people in the office to something happy and upbeat – and usually makes them smile, too.
“Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day! I’ve got a wonderful feeling, everything’s going my way!”
3. “Poker Face” by Lady Gaga – So, it’s not exactly an uplifting song like the others, but it’s FUN! I love the beat, and when it comes on my playlist, I can’t resist the urge to shake my booty – even if it’s in my chair at my desk.
“Russian roulette is not the same without a gun. And baby, when it’s love if it’s not rough it isn’t fun.”
4. “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” by Big & Rich – Also not a real “uplifting” song, but it is SO FUN to sing and dance to. The lyrics make me smile, the rhythm makes me want to get up and dance around the room. Big & Rich are a talented couple of guys, and I love pretty much everything they’ve done.
“Well, I saddle up my horse and I ride into the city. I make a lot of noise, ’cause the girls they are so pretty. Ridin’ up and down Broadway on my old stud Leroy. And the girls say: Save a horse ride a cowboy!”
5. “Stronger” by Britney Spears - Yes, I’m a Britney fan. I loves her – even with the breakdown. And given all that she’s been through, the song is even more fitting than it was before (at least, in my opinion). And it makes me wanna stand up on my desk, flip the bird to anyone who’s screwed me over and say “HA! You didn’t kill me. And thanks, because of the shit you put me through, I’m a stronger, more awesome woman. And I can still hold my head up high!”
“Now I’m stronger than yesterday. Now, it’s nothing but my way. My loneliness ain’t killin’ me no more… I’m STRONGER!”
6. “Tell me something I don’t know” by Selena Gomez – Oh yeah, teenybopper in full force. But it’s a really fun song. I hear the opening line and immediately want to get up and boogie my ass off. Yay, teenie music! And yeah, I guess it’s got a little bit of a “WOOO! ME!” message, which is good for all the little kiddies out there.
“Everybody tells me it’s wrong what I’m feeling, I shouldn’t believe in the dreams that I’m dreaming. I hear it every day. I hear it all the time. ‘I’m never gonna amount to much’, but they’re never gonna change my mind!”
7. “The Cupid Shuffle” by Cupid – There is absolutely nothing to this song except how much fun it is to dance to. It’s like a line dance, only it’s hip hop, which is COOL! When this comes on my iPod during the day, you can tell by watching my feet… because I do the moves while I’m sitting at my desk. I’m probably a dork for doing it, but I don’t care. It’s FUN!
“They got a brand new dance, you gotta move your muscle. Brand new dance, it’s called The Cupid Shuffle. It don’t matter if you’re young or you’re old (here we go), we gonna show you how it go…”
8. “My Love” by Justin Timberlake – Yup, I’m a JT fan. Who can blame me? He’s talented and hot. He can sing and dance, and he knows what the public wants when it comes to rhythm, the beat of the song, even the lyrics. Oh yeah, I’m a JT fan. And with this song? Who doesn’t want to believe that JT is singing this to them? “Ain’t no woman that can take your spot, my love…” Excuse me while I whip out my little fan and try to cool myself off.
“I can see us holding hands, Walking on the beach, our toes in the sand. I can see us on the countryside, Sitting on the grass, laying side by side. You could be my baby, let me make you my lady…”
9. “Don’t cha” by The Pussycat Dolls – Yeah, it’s about the (potential) other woman, but it’s such a “F-U I’m hot!” song. And sometimes I just need to remind myself that no matter my current size (because we all know I struggle with my stupid weight on a daily basis), I am sexy. Also, it’s really fun to dance to. (Notice a trend here? I love to dance)
“Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me? Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? Don’t cha?”
10. “She thinks my tractor’s sexy” by Kenny Chesney – While I’m getting kind of tired of hearing Kenny on the radio (don’t get me wrong – he’s talented, but all his songs sound the same these days), this song always makes me crack a smile. I mean come on… a tractor is sexy?? No way. Maybe the guy ON the tractor is sexy (mmm, farmers…), but the tractor itself? Never. Sorry, it’s no 2010 Shebly GT500. Now that’s sex on wheels.
“She thinks my tractor’s sexy! It really turns her on. She’s always starin at me, while I’m chuggin’ along.”
11. “Stronger” by Kanye West – Admittedly, I do not like Kanye West. At all. As a person, I find him to be rude, a little bit stupid, and not someone I’d ever care to hold a conversation with. But as an artist, he’s put out some really amazing music. I love this song because I can dance to it. And of course, we all sometimes need to be reminded that what doesn’t kill us will only make us stronger.
“N- n- now th- that don’t kill me, Can only make me stronger. I need to hurry up now, cause I can’t wait much longer.”
12. “I kissed a girl” by Katy Perry – This kind of serves as an inside joke to my friends and me… I once was broken up with over the fact that a girl kissed me in front of this creepy old guy that wouldn’t leave us alone. Unfortunately, my boyfriend at the time didn’t care for that too much. Despite me not being such a willing participant, he broke up with me. Stupid move, dude. But the song makes me laugh my ass off every time I hear it anyway.
“I kissed a girl and I liked it (the taste of her cherry chapstick). I kissed a girl just to try it (I hope my boyfriend don’t mind it).”
13. “So What” by Pink - I love Pink. I think she’s a freaking ROCKSTAR. She’s gorgeous, she’s got a beautiful voice, and holy shit, she actually creates thought-provoking songs! This one reminds me that I don’t need a man to be happy (don’t read too deeply into that – Jason & I are still doing great), it’s got a fun beat, and it’s just overall great to listen to. I get all “YAY!” every time it comes on.
“So, so what, I’m still a rock star, I got my rock moves and I don’t need you. And guess what, I’m havin’ more fun, And now that we’re done I’m gonna show you tonight.”
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083. CCL Car Safety 30 September 2009
As the summer months wind down and cooler weather begins to descend upon us, we at CCL Car Safety would like to remind you to stay alert and continue to be vigilant in keeping watch for children left in vehicles. To date, the lowest temperature where a child has been lost is 57°F. There is no temperature “cool enough” to justify leaving a child in the car.
This year alone, 30 children in the United States have passed away from either being left in a car or accidentally being trapped in the trunk. More than 148 innocent lives have been saved by passers by who took notice and did something about it – either by calling the police or getting into the car and removing the child from a potentially deadly situation.
We’d like to leave you with some facts to remember:
• Within 10 minutes of turning the car off, the internal temperature can raise more than 20°F. After an hour, it can rise more than 50°F.
• Car color doesn’t matter. Nor does having tinted windows or leaving the window cracked. Once the car is turned off, the internal temperature will steadily rise.
• A child’s body is smaller than an adult’s, and is less able to regulate their body temperature. This means that a child will succumb to hot or cold far more quickly than an adult will.
Please keep in mind that it is never ok to leave a child in the car – not even for a minute. A “quick trip” into the grocery store can easily turn into 30 minutes – which can be lethal to a child.
We would like to extend our condolences to the family of the little boy who passed away on Monday, September 28th. Our thoughts and prayers are with you in this troubled time, and if you need anything, please feel free to contact us at the numbers listed below.
CCL Car Safety
(281) 857-0026
(281) 508-6586
christiansmemory@yahoo.com
I love Maya Banks. I think she’s a fabulously talented author and a really funny person (judging by her Twitter and blog posts). I was first introduced to her work through the Sweet series. So being me, I grabbed every single book of hers that I could possibly find (I do this with every author I like). This was the first book other than the Sweet series that I picked up.
I’ve been eagerly anticipating the release of Sweet Seduction for about a month now. I’m not entirely sure how I stumbled upon Sweet Surrender (I’m sure it was through my amazing friend Jane’s suggestiong – she’s the one who suggested roughly 2/3 of my collection… Hmm, Jane I’m thinking you owe me money… lots of it… LOL).
